Audio Version (09:05)
When working in my coaching practice with such a wide range of clients with different upbringings, social classes, ages, education levels, etc., I’m always struck by how many of us limit ourselves because of age.
In a world increasingly dominated by subjective timelines and social norms, age is often treated as a limiting factor for what we can and cannot do. We hear phrases like “You’re too young to understand” or “You’re too old to start that now.”
Yet, as we witness people of all ages defying stereotypes and achieving remarkable things, it becomes clear that age is just a number.
There is no ‘right’ age to pursue dreams, take on new challenges, or redefine ourselves. The only real barrier is us, often because we have the mindset that others will judge us, whether for being “too young” or “too old.”
In the extended YouTube version of this article, I also discuss Age as a Construct, the ‘Right Time Myth’ and explore the stories we tell ourselves through which we hold ourselves back. Click here to watch.
The Social Conditioning of Age Norms
Age norms are so deeply ingrained in our social structure that most of us adhere to them unconsciously. We’re taught early on that certain milestones must be reached at certain times—graduate college by 22, find a stable career by 30, buy a home by 35, and retire by c65.
While these timelines may work for some, they do not reflect the vast diversity of human experiences, dreams, or goals. Yet, many people feel pressured by these expectations, limiting themselves based on a subjective idea of what is “appropriate” for their age.
“I’m Too Old”
Take, for example, the person who wants to change careers in their 40s or 50s but holds back, fearing the judgment of others. This is such a common one in my coaching practice.
Many people fall into a career after leaving school or college only to have somewhat of a midlife crisis, realising that they aren’t in a career or even a job that they even like, let alone love. Still, their responsibilities (family, mortgage, etc.) are so huge that they stay stuck.
Frequently, this is when depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues become heightened as the person now feels trapped in a never-ending cycle: work, sleep, eat, repeat. However, when discussing a potential career change, the typical response is, “I’m too old to start over”.
But that’s rarely the case. I’ve worked with many people who have successfully transitioned careers. In fact, that’s exactly what I did! I left my successful six-figure HR career at the age of 39 to set up my own coaching practice. Has it been tough? Heck yeah, but it’s a million times better than being stuck in a job I hated, which could have definitely been the case had I stayed.
“I’m Too Young”
Or consider the young adult who has a passion for entrepreneurship or wants to move up the career ladder but hesitates because they feel too inexperienced or too young to be taken seriously (I had precisely this situation with a client just last week). These fears stem from societal conditioning, not from an inherent truth about what people are capable of.
The truth is that life doesn’t adhere to a set schedule, and progress isn’t linear. If we can dismantle these age-related constructs in our minds, we open ourselves to endless possibilities.
Why Do We Let Age Hold Us Back?
One of the primary reasons people hold back is the fear of judgment. For younger people, the concern might be that they aren’t experienced enough to be taken seriously. For older individuals, the fear is often that society will see them as past their prime or “too late” to start something new.
This internalised fear can be paralysing. But when we look at the stories of successful individuals who defied age norms, we see that those who achieve great things aren’t those who followed conventional timelines. They’re the ones who tuned out societal expectations and listened to their inner calling.
Unfortunately, many people stop themselves from taking that first step because they’re worried about what others will think.
In a world where social media and public perception seem to have heightened significance, it can be tough to ignore the noise. But if you allow the judgment of others to dictate your actions, you risk spending your life chasing other people’s expectations rather than your own dreams.
Breaking the Age Barrier
If age is just a number, then the first step to breaking free from its constraints is to recognise that fact. Whether you’re 20, 40, or 70, you are not defined by the number of years you’ve lived. Your experiences, skills, and passions are far more important indicators of what you can achieve.
1. Start With Your Passion
Whatever it is you want to do—whether it’s starting a business, learning a new skill, or changing careers—the most important thing is that it excites you. When you’re passionate about something, age becomes irrelevant. Focus on what drives you and let that guide your actions.
2. Challenge Societal Norms
Understand that the timelines society presents are arbitrary. They do not reflect the reality of human potential. If someone tells you that you’re too young or too old to do something, recognise that they’re projecting their own limitations onto you. You have the power to rewrite the rules.
After all, Vera Wang became a fashion designer at 40. Colonel Sanders established the famous KFC in his 60s. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook at 19. Ben Francis also established the global fitness brand GymShark at 19. These individuals didn’t let age define what they were capable of achieving.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the most dangerous things you can do is compare your life to others. Someone else’s timeline is not your own. If you constantly measure yourself against other people’s milestones, you’ll lose sight of what truly matters to you.
4. Embrace Failure
At any age, the fear of failure can hold us back. But failure is a natural part of growth, no matter how old you are. You will make mistakes. You will encounter setbacks. But these are not indications that you’re too old or too young to succeed. They’re simply part of the process.
I can’t tell you how many things I’ve tried and failed at since establishing my business in 2009. As an entrepreneur, you have to keep moving and keep up with the trends, and sometimes, things don’t work out or have a short life span.
I used to get really upset about this. I could put so much effort into something for it to ultimately fizzle into nothing. Now, when that happens, I reframe. I know that I’ll have learned a heap of new skills that will undoubtedly come in useful at some later date.
The Wrap Up
When we let go of the idea that age is a limiting factor, we free ourselves to live more authentically and pursue the things that matter most to us.
There is no ‘right’ age to do anything—there’s only the present moment and what you choose to do with it. Whether you’re 18 or 80, the world is full of opportunities waiting for you to seize them.
By shedding the fear of judgment and rejecting the notion that life’s milestones must be hit at a certain time, we open ourselves to a world where age is truly just a number. So, stop letting age get in the way.
Chase, that dream, embrace the challenge, and remember that you are never too young or too old to do what you love.
What Next?
Again, in the extended YouTube version of this article, I also discuss ‘Age as a Construct’, the ‘Right Time Myth’ and explore the stories we tell ourselves through which we hold ourselves back. Click here to watch.
If there are any specific subjects you’d like me to cover in upcoming content (it’s always so helpful!) or if you’d like help with any of the topics I discuss, message me at info@jobanks.net.
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As always, thanks for your continued support.