Listen to the article (5:38)
Disclaimer – The information in this article is meant for entertainment purposes only and is in no way meant as a replacement for professional medical or psychological support. Please seek the appropriate advice from a healthcare professional should you feel it necessary.
I know I’ve talked about narcissism in the workplace previously. However, in just the last week, I’ve had three new clients who have come to me for coaching because they recognised that they couldn’t continue feeling stressed, anxious and generally unhappy.
With each one, when I’ve drilled down to understand the root cause of their negative emotions. It turns out that they have all been or are being bullied at work, either by a colleague or manager.
Two are currently in the throes of narcissistic abuse. The other believed that her symptoms were menopause related and entirely unconnected to the now-resolved workplace bullying she suffered last year.
During each of our coaching sessions, I have gone step by step through the training I deliver on workplace bullying to my corporate clients. It includes the traits of a narcissist, the narcissistic abuse cycle and the Duluth Power and Control Wheel.
I’ve written extensively on these topics previously. If you’ve missed these articles, you can read them here.
I’m happy to say that each client has had what I can only describe as profound ‘ah-ha’ moments. Understanding what’s been happening to them and its impact on their nervous systems has allowed them to recognise why they currently feel so ‘out of sorts’.
With the two clients currently being bullied, I have helped them create a plan for tackling it positively, using techniques I mentioned in my previous articles.
With all three, I am and will continue working with them on rebuilding their confidence and self-esteem, both of which narcissists get great joy from systematically dissecting and undermining.
Narcissism in the Workplace Podcast
Interestingly (and, honestly, I don’t believe in coincidence), today, a podcast interview I recorded recently on ‘Narcissism in the Workplace’ with Stephen Adams on his ‘Inspiring Thoughts Podcast’ goes live.
In the podcast, which you can list to here, Stephen asks me the following questions:
- What is narcissism?
- What are the traits of a narcissistic person?
- As an individual, what could we be experiencing?
- What is gaslighting?
- Would narcissism get worse over time?
- What should we do if we’re experiencing narcissistic behaviour?
If you’re interested in this topic, I hope you find time to listen to the podcast. I think you’ll find it interesting. Please also consider forwarding it to anyone you think would find it helpful.
Lex Fridman & Paul Conti Podcast
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, and it probably won’t come as a surprise, but I am an avid learner. There isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t do some research into human behaviour. That may involve reading/listening to books (I try to complete two a month), listening to podcasts, attending training/seminars etc.
Recently, I listened to the Lex Fridman podcast. He was interviewing renowned psychiatrist and author Paul Conti on Narcissism, Sociopathy, Envy, and the Nature of Good and Evil.
There was one section that I found incredibly useful and a rather succinct explanation of a narcissist. Here’s a transcript excerpt:
Out of all the diagnoses of all the different personality types, narcissism causes 50% of the badness we see around us.
Narcissists are wildly destructive, which is driven and lodged completely in envy.
Narcissism is a deep, pervasive, and unquestioned sense of inadequacy in self that comes along with anger, fear and vulnerability.
Fear of destruction.
Fear of annihilation that is compensated for:
- By aggression
- By the mechanics of envy
- By trying to make themselves feel better at the expense of others
- By taking from others
- By being completely cavalier about the thoughts and feelings of others.
It is not arrogance. It’s the opposite.
It’s a deep sense of inadequacy and incompetence in the self that the defensive structure around that becomes dominated by rocket-fuelled envy.
Again, I realise that this is a difficult topic. So, if you felt triggered by anything you read here, please seek professional support or talk to someone whom you trust. You can also contact me for a 15-minute discovery call at jo@jobanks.net.
If you think this article would be helpful to others, please feel free to forward. It takes seconds and assists me in getting this free content in front of more people. Plus, you never know who you may be helping with that small act of kindness!
Finally, if you haven’t subscribed to my weekly newsletter yet, please click here to receive sign up and receive a free copy of my 30-page guide on ‘How to Hack Your Happy Hormones’ completely free!
As always, thank you for your continued support.
