Audio Version (08:53)
Ever feel like you’re stuck in workplace drama on repeat?
One minute you’re helping a colleague, the next you’re being blamed for everything and somehow, nothing ever gets resolved.
You may be caught in something called The Drama Triangle, a sneaky psychological pattern that keeps teams stuck in blame, burnout, and resentment.
In this article, I’ll break down the roles of Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor, how to spot them, and most importantly, how to break free.
In the extended YouTube version, I also discuss how to spot these roles in team dynamics and what to do about them. You can watch it here.
Introduction
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of workplace drama, thinking, “Why does this always happen here?”
Maybe you’re constantly picking up the pieces after a colleague has a meltdown, or perhaps you’ve got a manager who turns every minor mistake into a crisis.
If any of that sounds familiar, chances are you’ve encountered The Drama Triangle, a concept that can explain a lot about toxic team dynamics.
What Is the Drama Triangle?
The Drama Triangle was developed by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in the 1960s to describe a dysfunctional pattern of social interaction. It’s made up of three roles:
The Victim – Feels oppressed, helpless, or powerless.
The Rescuer – Jumps in to save or fix others, often without being asked.
The Persecutor – Blames, criticises, or controls others.
People can move between these roles quickly, and often unconsciously. What starts as someone feeling sorry for a colleague can spiral into resentment and blame when their help isn’t appreciated or leads to more problems.
How the Drama Triangle Plays Out at Work
Let’s say you have a colleague named Emily. She’s struggling with her workload and constantly says things like, “I just can’t keep up. No one ever helps me.” She’s stepping into the Victim role.
Then there’s John, who jumps in to “help” Emily by staying late to do her tasks… again. He’s being the Rescuer.
Eventually, John burns out and snaps, saying, “You never take responsibility! I’m not your PA!” Now he’s moved into the Persecutor role.
Emily, shocked and hurt, returns to the Victim seat. The triangle spins on.
The trouble with this pattern is that everyone feels justified in their position, but nothing gets resolved.
It creates stress, miscommunication, resentment, and a culture of blame rather than accountability.
The Three Roles in Detail
Let’s break these down a bit further so you can spot them more easily in yourself and others.
1. The Victim
This isn’t about being a real victim of bullying, discrimination, or abuse. This is a psychological stance, where someone feels powerless even if they’re not. They often say things like:
“It’s not my fault.”
“No one listens to me.”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
They tend to look for someone to save them (a Rescuer) or someone to blame (a Persecutor).
At work, Victims might avoid taking responsibility or expect others to solve their problems. This can lead to learned helplessness or passive-aggressive behaviour.
2. The Rescuer
This one is tricky because rescuers often look like heroes. They swoop in, fix things, and feel needed. However, they’re often driven by guilt, a need for control, or a desire to feel important.
Typical thoughts include:
“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”
“They can’t cope without me.”
“I have to fix this.”
Rescuers may take on too much, override others’ autonomy, and create dependency. They also become resentful when others don’t show gratitude or continue to struggle.
3. The Persecutor
The Persecutor uses blame, judgment, or criticism to control others. This isn’t always shouting or overt aggression—it can be subtle, like sarcasm, micromanaging, or withholding support.
They tend to think:
“They’re lazy/stupid/incompetent.”
“It’s my job to keep everyone in line.”
“If I don’t push them, nothing will get done.”
While they might think they’re enforcing standards, they often create fear and defensiveness in others, which ironically lowers productivity and morale.
Why We Get Stuck in the Triangle
Many of us learn these roles in childhood and repeat them without even realising. If you grew up being praised for fixing problems, you may default to Rescuer mode. If you learned that being helpless got you attention, Victim mode might feel comfortable.
At work, the pressure, politics, and power dynamics can trigger these patterns fast. A stressed-out team with unclear boundaries is a breeding ground for the Drama Triangle.
How to Step Out of the Triangle
The good news is you don’t have to stay in the triangle. Once you’re aware of it, you can shift to healthier roles. Here’s how:
1. From Victim to Creator
Rather than seeing yourself as powerless, ask:
“What can I do here?”
“Who can I ask for input, not rescue?”
“What’s within my control?”
Creators take ownership of their choices. They ask for support rather than expecting rescue, and they take steps to improve their situation, even small ones.
2. From Rescuer to Coach
Instead of jumping in to fix things, try asking:
“What do you think the solution is?”
“What support do you need from me?”
“How can I empower you to handle this?”
These are all what I call coaching-style questions. They put the emphasis back on the other person to find solutions to their problems rather than doing it for them. It gives them ownership.
Coaches listen, ask good questions, and offer support without taking over. This encourages others to grow rather than rely on you.
2. From Persecutor to Challenger
Rather than criticising, try to challenge people respectfully:
“Can I give you some honest feedback?”
“Let’s look at what didn’t work and what could be done differently.”
“What support do you need to move forward?”
Challengers hold others accountable without blame. They focus on solutions, not punishment.
A Quick Self-Check
When you’re in a tricky work situation, ask yourself:
Am I trying to save someone?
Am I blaming someone?
Am I feeling powerless?
If the answer is yes, you’re probably in the triangle. Take a breath, step back, and ask: What’s the healthiest role I could play here?
The Wrap-up
The Drama Triangle is sneaky. It can show up in even the most well-meaning teams. However, once you can recognise the signs, you can completely shift the dynamic. It’s not about judging yourself or others; it’s about breaking old patterns and creating more respectful, effective relationships.
So next time you catch yourself rescuing, blaming, or feeling trapped, remember: you’ve got choices. And the more you model healthy roles like Creator, Coach, and Challenger, the more others will too.
What Next?
Again, in the extended YouTube version, I also discuss how to spot these roles in team dynamics and what to do about them. You can watch it here.
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