Audio Version (09:53)
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the tension?
Or suddenly found yourself feeling anxious just because the person next to you is stressed?
It’s not all in your head. Stress and anxiety can actually be contagious, and it happens a lot more often than you might think.
Whether it’s at home, at work, or hanging out with friends, we often pick up on the emotions of the people around us without even realising it.
In this article, I’ll explain why stress and anxiety spread so easily, how Highly Sensitive People (HSPs, often known as ‘Empaths’) are even more prone to emotional contagion, and I’ll share three simple, practical strategies to help you spot and manage it when it happens.
In the extended YouTube version, I delve into more detail about the evolutionary roots of emotion contagion, discuss the types of scenarios where stress contagion occurs, and provide two additional strategies for managing it when it does. You can watch it here.
The Science Behind Why We Pick Up on Other People’s Stress
It comes down to mirror neurons. These little brain cells help us mimic the actions and emotions of others. Basically, your brain can sense someone else’s feelings and, without even thinking about it, we start to feel the same way.
If someone is anxious, your mirror neurons kick in, and suddenly you’re feeling anxious too. It’s like you’re emotionally syncing up with them.
Additionally, there is research from the HeartMath Institute. They’ve found that emotions aren’t just in your head; they actually affect your body, and the changes in your heart rhythm can spread to others.
When someone is stressed, their heart rate can become irregular, and this can affect those around them. This electromagnetic effect means that stress isn’t just something you feel in your mind; it’s something you can physically sense from others.
The Deep Evolutionary Roots of Stress Contagion
Now, let’s dive a little deeper into why our brains are so wired to pick up on the stress of others. It’s not just random; there’s a strong evolutionary reason behind it.
Early humans lived in groups, and our survival often depended on how quickly we could respond to threats, whether that was a wild animal, harsh weather, or other dangers.
Here’s how stress contagion helped:
1. Survival Through Collective Awareness
In our hunter-gatherer days, humans needed to react quickly to threats. If one person spotted a predator, the whole group had to act immediately. Stress would spread quickly through subtle cues, such as body language and facial expressions.
This shared emotional response, known as “emotional contagion”, helped the group stay in sync and respond more quickly to danger, thereby ensuring survival through collective action.
2. Stress as a Signal for Action
Stress triggers our “fight or flight” response, preparing our bodies for action (as I’ve discussed in many of my articles). In early human history, stress usually meant danger, so our bodies would gear up to react.
Even today, when someone around us is stressed, our body reacts the same way: muscles tighten, heart rate increases, as if we’re facing a physical threat, even if there’s no immediate danger or it’s a ‘perceived’ threat.
3. The Role of Group Cohesion
Humans rely on cooperation for survival. In a group, if one person gets stressed, it could signal danger or scarcity.
A shared stress response helped maintain harmony and awareness. When one person’s emotions affected the rest, it ensured everyone stayed alert, united, and ready to face threats together.
Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) and Emotional Contagion
Highly Sensitive People (HSPs – often referred to as Empaths) are even more prone to this kind of emotional contagion.
HSPs are people who are more attuned to the emotions of others and can feel them deeply. If you’re an HSP, you might notice that when someone near you is stressed, you can’t help but feel it too, almost like it’s happening to you.
It’s not just empathy; it’s as though their emotions are rubbing off on you, and it can be overwhelming at times.
Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to emotional stimuli, so you’re more likely to absorb the feelings of others, whether that’s stress, anxiety, anger, or even excitement.
It’s a blessing and a curse, really, because while it helps you connect deeply with others, it can also make it harder to separate your own feelings from the emotions you pick up from the people around you.
I have an article and Video coming up soon on HSPs, so if you’re interested in learning more, be sure to hit the subscribe button!
3 Strategies to Spot and Deal with Stress Contagion
Now that we know stress is contagious, let’s discuss ways to protect ourselves from it.
Whether you’re an HSP or not, here are three strategies to help you recognise when you’re picking up on other people’s stress and how to deal with it effectively:
1. Check In with Yourself
When you’re surrounded by stressed people, it’s easy to get caught up in their emotions. That’s why it’s important to check in with yourself throughout the day.
Take a moment to ask, “Am I feeling stressed because of my own thoughts, or am I picking up on someone else’s energy?” This quick check-in can help you determine whether the stress you’re feeling is truly your own or if you’ve absorbed it from someone else.
2. Set Emotional Boundaries
Setting emotional boundaries is super important, especially if you’re an HSP. You don’t have to take on other people’s stress. It’s okay to empathise with someone without letting their anxiety take over your day.
If someone’s stress is starting to affect you, it’s okay to say, “I understand you’re going through a tough time, but I need a break to recharge”. You have the right to protect your emotional space.
3. Limit Exposure to Stressful People or Environments
I know this is often easier said than done. However, if you’re constantly around stressed people or in stressful environments, it’s going to wear you down over time.
Try to limit your exposure whenever possible. If a friend or coworker consistently brings stress into your life, take a step back and try to protect your peace. I know that can be difficult, but setting emotional boundaries can really help.
This doesn’t mean you have to cut them off; it just means being mindful of how much time you spend in those high-stress situations.
I also recommend regularly cleansing and editing your social media feeds. Get rid of or at least hide accounts that are negative. I try not to look at social media too much (as I’m prone to doom-scrolling), but when I do, because I regularly cleanse, I don’t have to look at negativity!
If your job consists of seemingly never-ending stress and anxiety with little or no respite, it’s time to review your options. All jobs have some stress from time to time, but organisations, where a ‘hustle or toxic’ culture is the norm, are not sustainable for our nervous system.
Again, I have an article and video coming up soon on hustle culture as I think it’s an important topic that isn’t talked about enough.
The Wrap-up
Stress and anxiety are contagious, and it’s easy to catch those feelings from the people around you. But with the right strategies, you don’t have to let other people’s stress take over your life.
By regularly checking in with yourself, setting emotional boundaries, limiting your exposure to stress, creating your own space, and practising stress-relief activities, you can keep your emotional health intact and avoid being overwhelmed by others’ emotions.
If you’re an HSP, these strategies are even more critical because you’re more sensitive to others’ emotional states. But no matter who you are, recognising when you’re absorbing stress and taking steps to protect yourself is key to maintaining balance and staying grounded.
What Next?
Again, in the extended YouTube version, I delve into more detail about the evolutionary roots of emotion contagion, discuss the types of scenarios where stress contagion occurs, and provide two additional strategies for managing it when it does. You can watch it here.
If there are any subjects you’d like me to cover in upcoming content or if you’d like coaching support with anything I discuss in my videos or articles, please email me at info@jobanks.net.
However, recently, I’ve received many emails and DMs from people asking for my views on their personal/professional situations. Unfortunately, for a number of reasons, I can’t provide individual advice unless you are a client.
As always, thanks for your continued support.
