Audio Version (08:58)
Many people struggle with worry. Whenever I deliver resilience training, I guarantee that when I ask, “Who’s a worrier?” At least half the room will raise their hands.
The persistent stream of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios keeps us preoccupied, often making it difficult to relax or enjoy the present.
While worry is often viewed as a negative state, it has roots in human evolution and serves as a survival mechanism.
However, in today’s fast-paced, complex world, unchecked worry can become a significant source of stress and anxiety.
In this article, we’ll explore what worry is, why we evolved to do it, and how strategies like “worry time” can help us manage it effectively.
In the extended YouTube version, I discuss the effects of excessive worry, offer two additional strategies for managing worry, and talk about the benefits of managing worry. You can watch it here.
What is Worry?
Worry is a cognitive process—a repetitive cycle of thoughts centred on potential future problems or threats.
Unlike fear, which is a direct response to an immediate danger, worry is anticipatory and speculative. We anticipate future events and speculate about how they may affect us.
It involves mentally simulating scenarios that haven’t happened or may never happen, imagining what could go wrong, and strategising ways to avoid or cope with those situations.
While worry often feels unproductive, it stems from an attempt to solve problems or prepare for uncertainty.
The Evolutionary Function of Worry
To understand why we worry, it helps to look at its evolutionary roots.
For early humans, worrying about potential dangers—such as predators, food shortages, or tribal conflicts—was a survival advantage.
Those who anticipated and prepared for threats were more likely to survive and pass on their genes.
How Worry Helped Early Humans
1. Threat Anticipation
Worry enabled our ancestors to predict risks and take pre-emptive action. For example, worrying about a potential drought might have prompted early humans to store food or seek alternative water sources.
2. Problem-Solving
Imagining different scenarios and their outcomes helped early humans develop solutions to challenges, like creating tools or strategies for hunting.
3. Social Cohesion
Worrying about relationships or group dynamics encouraged behaviours that maintained social bonds and minimised conflicts, which were vital for survival in communal settings. The tribe had to work together to ensure survival.
In this context, worry was a helpful tool. However, in the modern world, where threats are rarely life-threatening and often abstract, this mechanism can go into overdrive, leading to chronic stress.
Strategies to Manage Worry
The good news is that worry can be managed with the right strategies. Here’s how you can break the cycle and regain control:
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves bringing your attention to the present moment without judgment. Since worry is future-focused, mindfulness can help redirect your thoughts to the here and now.
How to Practice Mindfulness:
a. Breathwork
Start with deep breathing exercises, focusing on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. I always recommend using the physiological sigh, which is clinically proven to reduce stress in a couple of minutes:
– Take two breaths in through the nose so that the lungs are fully expanded and you can’t get any more air in (it’s the second breath that’s the key)
– Take one long breath out through the mouth as if you’re blowing through a straw
– Repeat a further two or three times or until you feel calmer
b. Grounding Techniques
Use grounding techniques, such as noticing:
– Five things you can see
– Four things you can touch
– Three things you can hear
– Two things you can smell
– One thing you can taste
c. Meditation/Prayer
Incorporate meditation or prayer into your routine. Both are proven to reduce stress and build resilience against intrusive thoughts.
2. Challenge Your Worries
Not all worries are rational or likely to come true. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques can help you evaluate and put your worries into perspective.
Steps to Challenge Worries:
a. Write Them Down: List your worries and categorise them into “likely” versus “unlikely” outcomes.
b. Question Them: Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that this will happen?” or “If this happens, what’s the worst that could realistically occur?”
c. Reframe the Thought: Replace catastrophic thinking with balanced alternatives. For example, “I might fail the presentation” becomes “I’ve prepared, and I’ll do my best.”
I have an entire video dedicated to managing Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS). You can watch it here.
3. Set Aside “Worry Time”
One effective strategy for managing worry that I teach many of my clients and use in my resilience workshops is to designate a specific time during the day to focus on your worries or even dedicate a day to worry, for example, ‘Worry Wednesday’.
This approach, known as worry time, can help you contain your concerns rather than letting them intrude on your entire day.
How Worry Time Works:
a. Choose a Time: Set aside 5–15 minutes (preferably at the same time) each day as your designated worry time, preferably not right before bed.
b. Postpone Worries: When a worry arises during the day, remind yourself, “I’ll think about this during my worry time.” Then, change your thoughts to something more productive. We can’t have two thoughts at once, so getting into the habit of redirecting your thoughts is incredibly useful.
c. Don’t Write Down Your Worries (especially if you choose to worry only once a week)! I guarantee you will forget most of them by the time your ‘worry time’ arrives.
d. Focus During Worry Time: During your allotted time, reflect on your worries, but focus on SOLUTIONS. Take action on your solutions immediately or as soon as possible after your worry time ends.
Additional ‘Worry Time’ Tips
a. Sit somewhere uncomfortable, like the bottom of the stairs. Avoid sitting in your usual spot on the sofa – wherever you practise ‘worrying’ will become an anchor for worry, so you don’t want to do it somewhere you like to sit.
b. Put a timer on your phone so you don’t dwell too much.
c. Focus on looking for solutions rather than ruminating on the worry.
d. If you choose to do a Worry Day, I recommend limiting your time worrying to no more than 15 minutes. By confining your worries to a specific time frame, you create boundaries that allow you to focus on the present throughout the rest of your day.
The Wrap-Up
Worry is an ancient mechanism that helped our ancestors survive, but in the modern world, it often creates more problems than it solves.
Understanding its function and learning strategies to manage it—like mindfulness, cognitive reframing, and setting aside worry time—can transform your relationship with worry. But, like most things, it takes practise. This is not a ‘one and done’ situation.
Instead of letting worry control your thoughts, you can use it to your advantage. Focus on the aspects of life that truly matter while letting go of the rest.
Remember, you are not your worries—they’re just thoughts, and you have the power to choose how much space they occupy in your life.
What Next?
Again, in the extended YouTube version, I discuss the effects of excessive worry, offer two additional strategies for managing worry, and discuss the benefits of managing worry. You can watch it here.
If there are any specific subjects you’d like me to cover in upcoming content (it’s always so helpful!) or if you’d like help with any of the topics I discuss, message me at info@jobanks.net.
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As always, thanks for your continued support.
