Audio Version (08:13)
Have you ever had a moment where something tiny suddenly feels huge?
An email from someone senior. A bill on the doormat. A look or a tone of voice. Suddenly, your chest tightens, or you feel like you’re in trouble, even though you’ve done nothing wrong.
You might wonder, “Why am I reacting like this?”
Here’s the truth most people never get told: you’re not overreacting, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do to keep you safe.
In this article, I explain what’s really happening in your nervous system when you feel emotionally triggered, and why these reactions can feel so intense in the moment.
In the extended YouTube version, I look at why past experiences still affect you, how authority dynamics and subtle cues like tone or expression can trigger your nervous system, and why financial situations are such powerful emotional triggers. You can watch it here.
Your Brain Has a Built-In Alarm System
At the centre of this experience is a small, almond-shaped structure called the amygdala. Its job is simple and vital: detect danger and keep you alive.
The amygdala is constantly scanning your environment for threats. Not just obvious danger like speeding cars or aggressive behaviour, but anything that reminds it of past danger.
When it senses something familiar from a previous painful or frightening experience, it doesn’t stop to ask whether that threat is still real. It reacts first.
This is why a raised voice, a particular facial expression, or even walking past a specific building can suddenly trigger a surge of anxiety, anger, or panic.
Your brain is not being dramatic. It is being protective.
Fight, Flight, Freeze. The Survival Response
When the amygdala perceives threat, it activates the body’s survival system.
You might experience:
Fight: irritation, anger, defensiveness, snapping back
Flight: the urge to escape, avoid, cancel, leave, or mentally check out
Freeze: feeling stuck, blank, numb, or unable to respond
This all happens in milliseconds, long before your rational mind has time to weigh things up.
The part of your brain responsible for logic, reflection, and decision-making is the prefrontal cortex. When the amygdala sounds the alarm, the prefrontal cortex gets partially shut down.
That’s why, in triggered moments, you might say things you later regret, struggle to find words, or feel as if you’ve become someone else entirely.
You haven’t lost control. Your brain has temporarily switched into survival mode.
Why the Brain “Lumps Things Together”
Here’s the part many people find most confusing.
Why can a place, a smell, a voice tone, a type of person or even a certain look trigger such a strong emotional response?
This is where evolution comes in.
Your brain is designed to associate and group information during intense experiences. When something painful or frightening happens, your nervous system does not just store the event itself. It also stores:
Where you were
What you saw
What you heard
Who was there
How people looked at you
The tone of voice used
Even background sounds or lighting
Why? Because, from an evolutionary perspective, this was a powerful survival strategy.
If your ancestors were attacked near a particular river, by someone with a certain posture or sound, their brain learned: river + sound + body language = danger. The next time any of those elements appeared, the brain reacted quickly to keep them safe.
Speed mattered more than accuracy.
That same mechanism is at work today.
This is why I see clients who feel sick driving past an old workplace where they were bullied, even years later. Or why someone can feel instantly small, angry, or anxious when they hear a voice that resembles a critical parent, manager, or former partner.
The brain is not replaying the memory in words. It is re-creating the state.
This Is Not “Overreacting”
If you’ve ever felt embarrassed by how strongly you reacted to something small, or wondered why you just “can’t get over it“, I want you to hear this clearly.
Your response is protective, not pathological.
It is your brain trying to prevent you from being hurt again, using the fastest system it has.
The problem is not that your nervous system is doing its job. The problem is that it is using old data in a new environment.
What Helps When You’re Triggered
Understanding the psychology doesn’t make triggers disappear overnight, but it does give you back a sense of agency.
Here are a few principles I often share with clients:
1. Name what’s happening
Silently recognising “This is my amygdala, not my whole self” can create a small pause.
2. Ground in the present
Gently remind yourself where you are, what year it is, and what is actually happening now. Your brain needs help distinguishing past from present.
3. Be compassionate with your nervous system
Shaming yourself only reinforces the threat. Safety is what allows the prefrontal cortex to come back online.
4. Work with patterns, not just events
Triggers often point to unresolved emotional themes rather than single memories. This is where coaching, therapy, or reflective work can be deeply powerful.
I’ll talk more about how to quickly recover from nervous system hijacks in an upcoming content. So make sure you’re subscribed so that you don’t miss it.
The Wrap-up
If you’ve ever wondered why something small can feel overwhelming or why your body reacts before your mind catches up, this is why.
Your brain is not broken. It is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you from perceived danger.
Sometimes that danger is obvious. Sometimes it is subtle. A look. A tone of voice. An email from someone senior. A bill dropping through the door, and sometimes, you may not even know why your system reacts the way it does.
That does not mean you are overreacting. It means your amygdala is responding automatically.
Understanding this replaces self-criticism with self-compassion. It allows you to pause, ground yourself, and respond rather than react.
You are not weak for being triggered. You are human. Your body has a story. But you can change it!
What Next?
Again, in the extended YouTube version, I look at why past experiences still affect you, how authority dynamics and subtle cues like tone or expression can trigger your nervous system, and why financial situations are such powerful emotional triggers. You can watch it here.
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